Tuesday, June 21, 2011

BORN TO WORSHIP: PRIVILEGED TO LEAD

BORN TO WORSHIP: PRIVILEGED TO LEAD


"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD." (Isaiah 55:8) 



June 20, 2011, 11:56 PM
Some of the books fell from the shelf. Maybe one of my beloved cats saw some lizards near the shelf. I picked the books and put them back in their place. As I picked the books, I saw an old notebook where I wrote some of my conversation and text messages from my friends. I usually write down in a notebook or a paper the messages from my cellphone that I like or those which are helpful to me before deleting them in my inbox.


 I started reading.


I smiled while I scanned the pages. The messages were almost three years old. I came into the page where I wrote down my churchmate/friend's text messages. It was his response to my text. Dated October 19, 2009 Time: 10:55Pm-12:05 AM. It was Monday. Prior to that day was the Sunday that I first lead the Praise and Worship. 


I FELT I WAS SETUP!


Let me explain. But first, let's go back and start from the beginning. The very beginning of my journey of becoming a worship leader. So where should I begin?


SINGER IN THE MAKING(?):


I love singing. Our father used to let us (siblings) sing when we were still children. He was an Amateur singer and we were told that he used to be a champion in the Amateur Singing Contest in our town when he was still in his teens. Our bonding time at home was when he let us his three daughters sing as if we're in a contest and to be fair and to avoid jealousy between siblings, he let us won. Sometimes, he would pick my older sister to be the winner and the next day, my other older sister and of course on the next next day, well ,obviously me.. ^___^  I believe my father is a frustrated singer and he wanted to pass his dream to us.


I know I can sing. They told me so! When I was a toddler, maybe one or two years old, I sang along with my father and it was recorded on a tape! (Too bad the tape no longer exist now). I  sang "lalala", still unable to say the words of the songs yet I was in tune!


Okay, so was I born a singer??? Haha!


Grade 6, My teacher "discovered" I can sing and so she always let me sing during our class program almost every week. And during high school, I also sang with a friend on a duet almost every month during our monthly birthday program in our class. Take note: I AM the shy type! Imagine that! And almost every month, I bought songhits. I really love music that much, ne?


I was not a Christian then. I didn't know that God has called me for a higher task. I still didn't know the purpose of the voice I have. All I know was that I inherit my voice from my father. AND I DON'T REMEMBER I THANK THE LORD FOR THAT!


MY JOURNEY OF BECOMING A WORSHIP LEADER:


When I became a Christian during College, I go to the church where my sister also fellowship with. And I love the Praise and Worship. I also admire the beautiful voices of the Worship leaders. I really wanted to sing for the Lord but I hesitated. There was a voice in my head that spoke and told me "What if I only want to sing to perform? So that people will hear my voice?" I feared that I might end up performing and stealing the glory from God instead of worshiping God in spirit and in truth. I was afraid I might focus on my self. So I never joined the Music team even though my sister and my roommates were in the music ministry. I was also young spiritually. IT'S NOT YET THE RIGHT TIME.


After college, I found a church in my hometown. The first time I sang at Church was really a disaster. I sang "No You" while playing the guitar. STAGE FRIGHT! I was too nervous I played the guitar badly. It was one of my most embarrassing moment.   I thought I would never sing again in the church! But all things work together for good to those who love God. The music team let me sing as one of the back ups. I'm so thankful to God for that. Finally, I'm part of the music team! It has always been my desire since I became a Christian - that I would serve the Lord through the voice He gives me!


I was able to lead during Wednesday or midweek service. PROMOTION! Praise God. It was scary of course and I was really trembling. Haha... and I thought that was already it! I never expected I'd be promoted again and never thought that it would be too SOON!!!


OCTOBER 17, 2009, I went inside the church. It was Saturday. Every Saturday, 5PM, the young people in our church gather together to share the Word of God and worship Him. We call it Sundown Worship and Thanksgiving or S.W.A.T.  We actually call ourselves the SWAT Team! 


The youth pastor and one of the worship leader told me that I will teach in the Sunday School that Sunday. ME??? Actually, they let me chose either I lead in the Praise and Worship or teach the Sunday School. Were they really serious? Do I really have a choice?! They added, "YOU SHOULD NEVER SAY NO TO GOD!" 


I was really struggling that time. I'm not eloquent! I don't know how to teach! I don't think I have the gift. And worship lead? Equally a hard and scary task. I was really nervous! And to think, I'll be leading the following day! What songs should I sing??? Am I prepared? Spiritually? Emotionally? Is it the right time? I'm still new in the music team! 


I chose Worship leading!


I no longer remember the line up that Sunday. I also don't remember what happened. What I remembered was that I was really nervous. I was fighting hard stage fright! I went to the restroom many times! It felt there were many butterflies in my stomach and many rats were running in my chest! I was sweating and trembling... BUT I DID IT!!! GLORY TO GOD!




THE SET UP:


Okay, now we're back on the set up thing.


That Monday, I sent Rodgie -a worship leader and now a Pastor- a text message. "Did you purposely do that? So I can lead in the P&W?" I mean, he's a worship leader and there are many worship leaders in the church, HOW COME THEY'RE ALL UNAVAILABLE DURING THAT TIME?!


He replied:


"It was my schedule to lead the praise and worship but Pastor Boyet assigned me to preach the Word. I also asked Pastor Jun but I did not expect he's also not available. And I also asked Pastor 9 but he's also not available too because he'll be teaching the Sunday school... SO IT WAS PERFECT TIME, REALLY. DON'T ASK WHY YOU BUT THANK GOD BECAUSE HE'S STARTING TO GIVE YOU A HIGHER TASK. DON'T PUT GOD IN A BOX... Romans 8:28... That's why you need to start.. You can fly as you keep on trying. We also started from the beginning Pastora Zel.. Anyway, God will never leave you.. we just have to obey and believe and He'll use us beyond our horizon to reveal His glory. Sometimes, we have to encounter surprises, challenges to test our trust in God.. Zel, we can only know how sharp a sword is unless you'll try to cut/slash a tree with it! Put this in mind, don't depend on your abilities.. that's why you need to trust God.. BECAUSE IF YOU'LL RELY/DEPEND ON YOUR ABILITIES, FOR SURE, YOU'LL NEVER GROW. If only we'll trust Him, He'll add more great things unto us.. faith matters.. It is God Who'll add the gifts.. That's already His job!.. He wants to display His splendor through you.. that's why we should never limit Him.. Let's allow Him to move mightily in our lives. THE GOD WE SERVE IS GREAT! Actually, you have a nice voice.. You only lack confidence.. Pray to God about that.. and then use that for Him..."


Well, AMEN! 


And so, I found out that IT WAS GOD WHO SET ME UP!!! 


God is really Omnipotent. Many times, we could not understand His ways but they are good. It was a great surprise, though at first I was reluctant but now I understand. The Lord says, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD." (Isaiah 55:8) We should never limit God or put Him in a box. That's what I've learned from that experience. God works in mysterious ways.


And the voice which keeps discouraging me??? I've learned to ignore it! I realized those were just lame excuses used by Satan to keep me from doing what GOD has called me to do. 


I am born to be a worshiper! I live to worship God!




Dear God,


I wouldn't mind to be setup again, LORD! Thank You for the people who played their part in Your set up. I am so blessed to have them. Thank You so much for the privilege to lead Your people in worship. I know I am never deserving but You still use me. Thank You so much for Your amazing grace!!!  Amen.




Well, brethren, who's up for a surprise??? ^__^




To my Great  God who never fails to surprise me be the glory!!!


Your sister through the blood of Christ,


Rizeru

11 comments:

  1. Wonderful to find someone so on fire for God. Your artwork is awesome--incredible.

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  2. @Joy: Thanks for your comment. I visited your blog and glad to know you're a Christian too... Will be following! Let's keep the fire burning! heheh!

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  3. Hello!! I came over from Geoff's blog.

    When I have more time I will look around but from what I see your are very artistic, so beautiful.

    My daughter is a worship leader and she too was called by God. When He does something watch out, it will be awesome!

    Blessings,
    <><

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  4. You don't have to know how to worship, or learn how to sing...just do it and the Holy Spirit will lead you. When you said they call it SUNDOWN I wondered why they don't say SONUP instead..
    God Bless you. You are the APPLE of His eye. xx

    Oh, did I tell you about SPIRITUAL SUNDAYS ?
    You will find them down on my side bar (click on to enter). They have a Christian LINK-UP every week..post on Saturday for Sunday.

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  5. I'm glad you never gave up. If you did I wouldn't be reading your blog! :) Keep pressing in. Thanks for sharing your journey. The Lord's blessing upon you as you continue to live your life of worship. May his goodness continue to surprise you.

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  6. @Child of God: Thanks for the follow! So nice to hear that your daughter is also a worship leader... May the Lord use her more! Amen to that! God will do many amazing things!

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  7. @Crystal Mary: Yes, worship isn't about singing but it's whatever we do for the LOrd, for His glory. We can worship God in our work (washing dishes, etc.).. IT's the heart that matters...

    They(worship leaders) told us before in the music team, challenging us, and told us about this one worship leader... she doesn't have a nice voice but everytime she leads the worship, you can really feel the presence of the Holy Spirit... It's the heart that really matters...

    That's a good idea! SONUP... Well, we call it sundown because we held SWAT every Saturday, 5pm, while the sun is setting...

    Ok.. I'll try to check "Spiritual Sundays" later... God bless!

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  8. Praise God, what a wonderful testament of God's faithfulness. Worship leading is a wonderful calling:)

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  9. @Toyin: Amen! It is indeed a wonderful calling! I just love singing for the Lord...

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  10. Praise God, I hope one day you can sing to me.. ;)

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  11. @Mutation: You can fellowship with us if you want... But I only sing for the Lord... cause I dedicated my voice for God...:))

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God bless!

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